Creative Insults

You are no longer beneath my contempt.

Her underarms are so hairy, she looks like she has Buckwheat in a
headlock.

That boy's about as sharp as the leading edge of a BB.

(You are so stupid) you couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the
instructions were written on the bottom of the heel.

Even though some have b-days that do not fall on April 1 they are still
fools.

This one translates very badly into english, but it might translate well
in other languages: Hij is zo handig; wat zijn ogen zien, dat maken zijn
handen ........ kapot.
(He is so skilled; what his eyes see, his hands make .......... broken).

When something went wrong with someone else, say this to calm him/her:
That can happen to anyone, ...... but it happens to the stupidest first.

When you and your momma had an argument, it was a battle of the
wits...Nit versus Dim. Then your dad joined, and it was Nit versus Dim
verses Half.

I hope your face ends up on a milk carton.

If I had a brother like you, I'd put myself up for adoption.

You remind me of opium, a slow working dope.

I would love to beat you up, but I have a problem with cruelty to
animals.

I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes.

When God was handing out brains, you must have been holding the door.

You say you can't climb plastic walls? How did you get out of the
abortion bucket then?

If my dog had a face like yours I'd shave his ass and walk him backwards.

The best part of you ran down your own man's leg.

Wow! You're a legend in your own mind!

You're half a genius - an IQ of 75.

See ya, wouldn't want to be ya!

Nice face...want a gun?

There's two things I really hate about you: your face!

When you were born the doctor slapped your mother.

You're so lazy, that if you woke up with nothing to do today, you'd go to
bed with it only half done.

Your so dull, you can't even cut a fart.

You're so weak you couldn't pull a greasy stick out of a dog's arse.

When I want your opinion, I'll rattle your cage!

I'd smack the shit out of you if I didn't think it would fill up the
room.

If I want any shit from you I'll squeeze your head.

May your bollocks turn cubical and fester at the corners.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

Father of none and son of hundreds.

Go fart peas at the moon!

Pertaining to your physiognomy, it suffices to say that, since it
occupies a position on the front of your head, it must be a face.

What a combination: IQ of a Ph.D., Intelligence of a mentally retarded
termite.

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