I wouldn't piss in your ear if your brain was on fire.
You wouldn't know your ass from a hole in the ground.
I have a feeling that you came from a wad your mom should have swallowed!!
Your dick is so small you piss on your balls.
Shut up or I'll stick my hand in my pocket and strangle your father.
80 million sperm and yours had to be the one that made it.
After meeting you I've definately changed my opinion on birth control.
I would have been your father but the guy in front of me had correct change.
I would have been your father but the dog beat me up the stairs.
Nice face....What are you gonna' do when the baboon wants his ass back?
Nice face...Wanna' buy a gun?
You're such a smart-ass I'll bet you could sit on a block of ice cream and tell what flavor it is.
If I wanted to hear from an asshole I'd fart.
You're the first case where the baby died and the afterbirth lived.
If I wanted some comeback I'd wipe it off your chin.
I'd beat the shit out of you if I wasn't afraid it'd fill up the room.
If I wanted shit from you I'd squeeze your head.
If I had a dog that looked like you I'd shave it's ass and make it walk backwards.
Ah, the flowering beauty of a maturing woman...You must be the stem.
WOW! You're a legend...in your own mind.
I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes.
(To be said to an attractively challenged person).... Hey dream boat...(When they turn around)...Not you ship wreck!
When you were born the doctor slapped your mother.
You're calling me gay...Tell you what, why don't you and your sister (or mother)bend over and see which one I fuck first.
If I had a brother like you I'd put myself up for adoption.
You remind me of opium...a slow working dope.
I would beat you up but I have a problem with cruelty to animals.
When God was handing out brains you must have been holding the door.
You're half a genius---an IQ of 75.
You're so lazy, even if you woke up with nothing to do today you'd still go to bed with it only half done.
You're so dull you couldn't cut a fart.
You're so weak you couldn't pull a greasy stick out of a dog's ass.
When I want your opinion I'll rattle your cage.
Nice teeth, I bet you could chew corn through a fence with those.
I saw him earlier -- he was in the bathroom getting a drink of water -- and the seat fell and hit him on the head.
Well, I'll see you in my dreams...if I eat too much.
You're the best at all you do...and all you do is make people hate you.
When you get run over by a car it won't be listed under "accidents." All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it's hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.
I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in this world already without you working so hard to give us another?
When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of death was, I'll say your stupidity.
Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.
I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.
I hear that when your mother first saw you she decided to leave you on the front steps of the police station while she turned herself in.
No one should be punished for an accident, but you look too much like a wreck not to be.
Yours was an unnatural birth -- You came from a human being.
You're a habit I'd like to kick -- With both feet.
Don't you have a terribly empty feeling -- In your skull?
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
I would like the pleasure of your company, but it only gives me displeasure.
At your speed you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your head.
If you ever tax your brain don't charge more than a penny.
I don't consider you a vulture -- I consider you something a vulture would eat.
I think you should live for the moment -- After that I doubt I'll think so.
I believe in respect for the dead -- In fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead!
You're aquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would.
I admire you because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief and a cheat.
Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
When you were a baby you were so ugly they had to hang a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you.
When your IQ raises to 28, sell.
You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.
Don't tell me how to do my job -- I don't come down to the whore house and tell you how to do yours!