SIGNS THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER A KID:
You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
You can live without sex but not without glasses.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter
who walks into the room.
You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
Your best friend is dating someone half their
age ..... and isn't breaking any laws.
You call Olan Mills before they call you.
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
You consider coffee one of the most important
things in life.
You make an appointment to see the dentist.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
Neighbors borrow your tools.
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you
?"
You answer a question with, "because I said so!"
You send money to PBS.
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near
the top of your pants.
You take a metal detector to the beach.
You wear black socks with sandals.
You know what the word "equity" means.
You can't remember the last time you laid on
the floor to watch television.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring
to someone's lawn.
You get into a heated argument about pension
plans.
You got cable for the weather channel.
You can go bowling without drinking.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even
realize it.
Did you love that last Timbo Horse? Did it
make you want to subscribe really bad? If it did you dont have to
go to great lengths to subscribe all you have to do is mail [email protected]
with subscribe in the body of the message!!! It's that easy (and really
fun too!) If you have any questions comments or concerns email me at [email protected].
Or you can go back to the archives
by clicking on the word archives.
If you are sick of all of the archives you can
still go to the Main Page.